Just hear those sleigh bells jinglin', ring-ting tinglin’ with guest Annie Lapin, whose paintings involve descriptions by others such as "obfuscating figuration through a remarkable language of painterly abstraction.” You may still not know what that means by the end of this episode, but you WILL know how Annie ruined Christmas.

Slip on your long prairie skirt and straw ribboned hat for Episode 90’s chat with writer and comedian Danielle Koenig, who may or may not end up with a Goodfellas actor, an rare and endangered pet, and a fictional father figure from a beloved 80’s sitcom.

It’s a post-Thanksgiving feast of non-sequitors and tangents with the fantastic Beth Littleford (The Daily Show), with a parade of bad perms, bad boys, and good friends to save us from ourselves.

Episode 88’s guests Hilda Rasula and Lorelei Butters join Janet to talk about the new Mortified Nation documentary, boys in black lipstick, the perfection of avocados, and storyboarding to make your dreams come true. Plus, Jeremy Irons? Really?

A M.A.S.H. game mind-meld gets this week’s guest, the radiant Arden Myrin (Chelsea Lately) literally up on her feet with excitement in Episode 86, where it’s all about breaking the plaid mold, embracing humiliation, and snow, snow, SNOW!

Jump into your station wagon and buckle up for a ramble through the mind of the fantastic Kate Flannery (The Office) as she and Janet discuss flight simulators, the luck o’ the Irish, and the monumentally profound and dangerous influence of... the musical Annie.

It's a laser lightshow of joy with the delightful Lennon Parham (Accidentally on Purpose, BFFs) as she and Janet marching-band their way through memories of snare drums, choir, and late blooming. Oh, and Happy Halloween!

Two very special guests join Janet for this episode: the amazing Starlee Kine (This American Life), and her amazing dog, Oh Papa. Richard Nixon! Child Stardom! Gravity spoilers! Seriously, don't listen to this if you haven't seen Gravity yet but you want to. Otherwise, treat your ears to one of the coolest writers around, New York-style.

Hear her on The JV Club before she rises to the top of the arm-wrestling world! It's Edi Patterson (The Groundlings), who bonds with Janet over the appeal of the celluloid "horndog," pygmy unicorns, and being the good girl.

Take a break from sneaking out to New York dance clubs long enough to enjoy the delightful Chemda (Keith and The Girl podcast) as she and Janet explore some VERY frank talk about teenage sex, the generation gap between emigrant parents and their kids, and what to do if you get a bump in your ponytail.

Come for advice on the best music to clean a shower by, stay for the volleyball tips. Or just drop in for the occasional rave and Del Taco parking lot hang. It's Christine Woods (HBO's Hello Ladies) and her tiny dragon in Episode 81!

Trom-bone up on your knowledge of marching bands, polar bears, and Peter Panning your way into adulthood with the simply delightful Kate Micucci in Episode 80 of The JV Club. BYOP (Bring your own paintbrush)!

The secrets to perfect skin-- or at least a mother who tells you that you don't have it-- are revealed in Episode 79 with the insanely funny Gillian Vigman (the Hangover trilogy) as she extolls the virtues of managing a football team, frequently being mistaken for a boy, and dating someone named "Spooge."

Pull off those white gloves and get down and dirty with cotillionairess Lauren Ashley Bishop (#nitTWITS) while she and Janet discuss the butterfly feeling of "limerence," playing it safe (or boring?), and when real intimacy is created. If you're not making out with someone to the tearjerker Last of The Mohicans by the time you finish this episode, we haven't done our jobs.

What becomes of an eight year-old who masters the LA public transit system, is the subject of an angry petition at school, and has imperfect feet? Find out with the lovely Ursula Whittaker, who schools Janet on the secrets of parental forgiveness and marrying a charming and hilarious Cuban.

You'll want to laminate Episode 76 of The JV Club, thanks to the fantastic conversational stylings of Jane Espenson (Once, Buffy The Vampire Slayer), who spins yarns about such matters as historically significant dollhouses, disappointing french horns, and the decidedly unromantic quality of The Kentucky Fried Movie.

Episode 75's conversation  provides guest Sara Watkins with innumerable ideas for songs yet-to-be-composed, including tiny horses and boogie boards.

Proud Wisconsinite and Dork Forest podcast creator Jackie Kashian joins Janet for a discussion about the families we love - even as they drive us nuts- to books, books, and more books, with a sprinkling of dogs, dorks, and death thrown in for good measure.

Two special guests join Janet in Episode 73, but only one of them - the fantastic Autumn Reeser (Thrilling Adventure Hour, No Ordinary Family) actually speaks. Topics include summer camp, the perennial talent of speedy typing, and getting attacked by tiny fish. Plus: Janet admits the shocking truth: she's never been to Hawaii.

From growing up as a lovably snobby kid nerd in Chico, CA to making award-winning indie movies, Etta Devine (The Selling) talks saints, science and sugar in episode 72 of the podcast, where coincidental references to both the "N" word and the "V" word occur.

The podcasting machine is revved up and ready with episode 71's guest Emma Bates (Whedon's Much Ado About Nothing) for an in-depth look at love, loss, and the experiences that shape us... including living across the creek from someone named Catbird!

The talent of pleasing other people's parents (but not your own), the allure of knowing your neighbors, and the thrill of wearing a boy's class ring get their due in episode 70 of The JV Club, plus fantastic comedian, author, and guest Laura Kightlinger (The Minor Accomplishments of Jackie Woodman) plays a new game, courtesy of previous guest Lucy Davis!

Two Arizona gals talk backyard wonderlands, card catalogs, and being a girl in boy-centric worlds in Episode 69 of the podcast, featuring Janet's dear friend and collaborator, Jessica Makinson (South Park). Includes a Junior Varsity advice segment!

Janet and guest Kristen Schaal (Flight of the Conchords) put the "cyst" back in "sisterhood" with tales of OBGYN terror, Twin Peaks-themed shopping malls, and good boys, bad boys, and no boys at all. Want more? How about the non-revelation of how delicious cereal is?

Hold onto your hats and sew your glasses into your jacket pocket for this illuminating episode with writer and actress Jolie Jenkins (Body of Proof) as she and Janet delight in chagrin over misguided wardrobes, eating lunch in your car, and the powers and pitfalls of having motivational speaking in your immediate family.

The perennially awesome Clea Duvall (Argo, Girl Interrupted) talks bullying, bands, and bringing back your best vintage tees in episode sixty six of the podcast; meanwhile, Janet tries to come off as cool as Clea... and fails (no surprise there!).

Can baton twirling lead to a promising fencing hobby? Can a tree administer psychological advice? Will Michael Caine leave his wife Shakira for Episode 65's marvelous Sara Benincasa (Agorafabulous)? There are only two ways to find out: listen to the episode, or talk to someone who listens to the episode.  C'mon. Do the right thing.

Janet's high school friend and mental health advocate Christina Jasberg travels from Tucson to rug-it-up with an intimate discussion about the roles of family history, brain chemistry, environment, hormones, and Scooby Doo in the life of a person faced with extraordinary challenges, and how our society supports-- and doesn't support-- the mentally ill.

Synergy Alert! Firing on all cylinders (and then some), Janet and Episode 63 guest Sandra Daugherty (Sex Nerd Sandra) give each other brain orgasms with a deep dive into intimacy and honesty, long term teen romance, and roughly 5,000 other things at once.

It's a little bit country, it's a little bit rock 'n roll... and it's everything you'd hope from an eager-to-please Texan with a dream to cheerlead (that word doesn't seem right without an "er" attached). Christy Stratton Mann (King of the Hill, Awkward) sets Janet straight about Donny, Marie, and so much more.

A quick mea culpa about this week's episode with Christy Stratton Mann- and an update on a new episode coming out to replace it!

All quipping aside, Episode 61 with Casey Wilson (Happy Endings) is NOT sponsored... by anyone. But hey, It's all good. There's still plenty to chew on with topics like Girl Scouts, feminism, and the best and worst of Billy Joel.

Janet is joined by returning guest Natasha Leggero and first-time JV "Club Foot" Karen Kilgariff in this live recording from Portland's terrifically fun Bridgetown Comedy Festival. Music! Hats! Eggs!

It's sort of a conversation between Korra and Lin Beifong as Mindy Sterling (Austin Powers) joins Janet in Episode 59, and yes, they DO discuss The Legend of Korra. Other topics include the etiquette of neighbors and barking dogs, the renowned LA Groundlings, and the magnetic pull of a funny gentleman.

This week multiple literal and metaphorical doors are knocked on and opened when Susan Orlean (The Orchid Thief! The Bullfighter Checks Her Makeup! Many other amazing books and essays!) and special guest star, her son Austin, stop by to unsettle Scott the Dog. Plus, find out why Janet suggests Susan's nickname be "Puddin."

The world turns upside-down when guest Lucy Davis (original UK's The Office) shocks Janet with the news that in Britain, blankets are called rugs. More startling revelations, hearty laughs, and shameless mutual Emma Thompson idol-worship round out Episode 57!

Doughnuts, Cigarettes, and Hot Sauce, Oh My! It's Episode 56 with Emily Gordon (The Indoor Kids) chock-full of fond remembrances of first kisses, My So Called Life, and the once-pervasive Manic Panic hair dye, the use of which apparently makes you a communist. This week's bonus: Theories on how hot dogs got their name.

Prompting the occasion for a friendly, folksy episode description, Janet's nearby neighbor Constance Zimmer drops by (with fresh-squeezed juice, no less) for a chat ranging from spiders to barbies to what seems like it might be a record-breakingly long game of M.A.S.H.

How do YOU pronounce the word "nougat?" Janet and guest Lynn Chen (The Actor's Diet blog) take a big bite out of the good, the bad, and the ugly sides of food. Also on the menu: when vanity bites you back, doorknocker earrings, and the savory churro of Taiwan.

Nudity, nudity, and more nudity. And some other stories that don't involve nude people in this episode of The JV Club with the delightful Andrea Savage (Stepbrothers), including anecdotes about farting and cologne. Yes, these two women are technically grown-ups.

It's the first anniversary of the JV Club and what better way than to spend it with the one and only* Sarah Silverman?

*Janet discovers that there is in fact more than one Sarah Silverman out there. But this is THAT Sarah Silverman.

It's a campfire-worthy episode of The JV Club with guest Michaela Watkins (Wanderlust) as she and Janet settle in for an evening of conversation about ghosts, close encounters of the litter kind, and pursuing careers in the spiritual realm.

It's an embarrassment of riches... or maybe just an embarrassment of embarrassments in episode 50 (Wow! We made it to 50!) with ridiculously fun guest Carla Gallo (Bones) - complete with revealing stories about prom nights gone awry, blooming late, and... um... cat lockets.

In this second-ever live episode of The JV Club, first-ever returning guest Tig Notaro sits onstage with Janet at SF Sketchfest in San Francisco to discuss the events of her life since the last time they recorded together. What follows is a frank, intimate and emotional discussion... with a very liberal dose of laughter. (Special thanks to SFSF photographer Jakub Mosur!)

A far cry from the overly-tan, dog-frenching Magda of There's Something About Mary fame, actress Lin Shaye gives Janet a peek into her aptly-named girl gang The Coquettes, the challenge of a corkscrew ponytail, and what you can expect from a psychedelic wedding.

Episode 47's guest Erica Rhodes gives Janet a peek into the cruel world adolescent ballet, the passionate poetry borne of a broken heart, and the balance between ambition and contentment. Plus, Janet geeks out over Erica's involvement with the delightful live radio show A Prairie Home Companion.

Take an evening walk down a quiet street or spend an afternoon riding your bike through the woods... or at least listen to Janet and guest Paget Brewster (Criminal Minds) revel in the magic of unstructured time spent alone in this episode, where Paget also proves herself to be the creator of a VERY important masterpiece.

It's an episode filled with mystery as Janet and guest Morgan Walsh (Burning Love) shower praise on the magic of Portland, Oregon and then begin to wonder if they share a dad. Further intrigue abounds with talk of living a double life in high school and the puzzling appeal of the Salton Sea.

Episode 44 brings you guest Kristen Rutherford (Geek and Sundry) and everything that comes along with her, which in this case includes discussions on fairy houses, supermarket birthday cake, and and being horrible in groups. Bonus: Kristen opens a belated Christmas gift from Janet!

It's a teenage diary showdown as Janet and Episode 42 guest Erinn Hayes (Childrens Hospital) marvel at the shocking similarity between their respective angst-scribbles. Further parallels abound as the two discuss being hot in baggy clothes, embarrassingly earnest glamour photos, and marrying Ricky Schroeder.

Janet and guest Carly Craig (Role Models) share a metaphorical school locker together and fill it with a conversation about the companionship of volleyball and the isolation of swimming (echoing Mary Lynn Rajskub's ep!), the liberation of writing your own material, and yes, the benefits of cooking with grapeseed oil.

Janet accuses guest Leslie Bibb (Iron Man) of having a Harper Lee novel-worthy childhood in Episode 41, amidst a powow  covering the dangers of altruism, being fearless in your fashion statements, and standing on the balls of your feet.

If a low-key conversational podcast episode can be described as zany and madcap, this might be that episode. Which is just a nice way of describing an oft-interrupted Episode 40 with the disarming, adorable Vanessa Ragland (Pop My Culture podcast), who takes it all in stride with Janet as they romp through a discussion about being the happy weird kid, ill-timed bathroom breaks and oh-so-much-more.

Guest Janie Haddad Tompkins (Janie and Aaron Does Hollywood) and Janet delve into a cornucopia of topics including  the fear of inappropriate earthquake attire, the extremely specific cache' of growing up on a small island in the 80's, and boys, boys boys.

Writer and comedian Tess Rafferty (The Soup) joins Janet to debate the pros and cons of Barbie dolls, the pressure of "The Five Year Plan," the delights of a good table setting, and how to reconnect with the art of your art.

It's a long one! The longest yet! Alison Rosen (Alison Rosen is Your New Best Friend, The Adam Corolla Show) lounges on the rug with Janet to give you an earful of wonderings about the parallel between old-school modems and human emotions, how it feels when your pediatrician recommends you go to a fat camp, and making friends with uncertainty.

The charming Kathleen Rose Perkins (Episodes) recounts the joys and challenges of being a certified bird-owner, being heard in a family of boys, and what we're really doing when we're eating eggs. Want more? Find out where Kathleen's future home is, courtesy another glorious game of M.A.S.H.!

It's a trip around the world with Episode 35's guest Amy Acker (Person of Interest, Angel) -- or at least a trip around Dallas, Japan, and pumpkin festivals, with a little high school drill team, country western dancing, and a horrible arachnid encounter thrown in for good measure. Plus a return to the classic, irrefutable fortune-telling game, M.A.S.H.!

Janet and guest and friend Stephanie Escajeda ramble down memory lane, stopping to reflect on the joys of Mexican holidays, shooting hoops with your brothers (all nine of them!), dating your local version of Johnny Depp (complete with the heartbreak that follows), and the level of nerdiness it takes to have a life-size poster of Albert Einstein on your wall.

Episode 33 was recorded live at the LA Podcast Festival on Saturday, October 13th and features the ridiculously cool Lizzy Caplan and the insanely talented Priscilla Ahn. You can expect references to nerdy apocalypse movies, boobs, and some surprising fantasy career choices (thanks to Lizzy). You can also expect gorgeous songs courtesy of Priscilla Ahn.

This episode of the JV Club was recorded in 2011 and features the stunningly awesome Tig Notaro... as she and Janet deconstruct the intense appeal of Chrissie Hynde, taking the road (or roads) less traveled to find your individual success, and the peculiar & delightful fate of her GED.

Tensions are high as the final two contestants of Burning Love (Janet and Abigail Spencer) face off to discuss counterculture of surfing, discovering Barbra Streisand, the rush of a flea market find, and the emotional magnetism of the City of Angels.

Zut Alors! It's the merveilleuse Montreal-born Jennifer Finnigan (Better With You) joining Janet to celebrate the thrill of a good scary movie, the magic of a potluck, and how a little girl who wanted to be a nun ended up winning three daytime Emmys.

Think an episode with a scientist will be all about genetics, space travel, and neurons? Think again. Janet and guest Cara Santa Maria (Talk Nerdy To Me) delve into their shared experience of a childhood attending LDS church, ballooning raver pants, and the puzzle of sexual identity, finding a partner who can stand you, and the appeal of androgyny.

Bad home perms! "Flesh" colored tights! Platonic love affairs! Janet and awesome guest Erin Gibson (Throwing Shade) jaw a little about suburban Texas and a lot about women in comedy, the way girls learn to compete, and then wonder why everything has to be so... complicated.

Podcast darling Elizabeth Laime muses about the drunken poodle purchases, being at the bottom of a cheerleading pyramid, reconnecting with your junior high crush... and the heartbreak of loss when it visits you young. This could be considered a three-tissue episode.

The 26th episode of The JV Club finds Janet delighting in the glorious Grey DeLisle with a conversation about red lipstick, giant hair bows, oversharing with your son, and having a grandmother whose uncommon beauty caused car accidents. Disclaimer: the ladies essentially forget to make references to Azula and Korra. Whoops!

Community fans rejoice! JV Club guest Yvette Nicole Brown rounds out the ladies of the beloved NBC series with a gab about bidding farewell to the snowstorms of Ohio, the undeniable genius of The Golden Girls, and the heart-swelling lyrics of DeBarge.

Honeyhoney founder and lead singer Suzanne Santo joins Janet for a relaxed ramble about the joys of Cleveland, Ohio, naked lady hangouts, and how to handle it when your mom reads your diary. Plus: two amazing Honeyhoney songs!

In an unusual departure from the standard JV Club routine, Janet interviews her first male guest: Julian Melson, who also happens to be transgender. In other words, teen Julian was a teenaged girl. Technically. Together they discuss Burt Reynold's magnetism, the allure of professional wrestling, and being honest about who you really are.

Episode 22 of The JV Club welcomes the wonderful Kulap Vilaysack (Childrens Hospital, Who Charted?) for a frank and emotional discussion about tumultuous families, getting comfortable with 'being a threat,' and the kind of sweet sweet lovin' that can only come from "Red Light Special" by TLC.

Episode 21 of The JV Club finds Janet and guest Alison Brie (Community, Mad Men) spontaneously writing a movie pitch, discussing the bathroom-centric challenges of leotards, and even catching a few cooties with a fan-made cootie catcher. If you don't know what that is, it's not what it sounds like.

Who ruined a competition for her whole team? Who showed up with a VERY surprising prom date? Does anyone actually like the word "horny?" Celebrate the dying of your taste buds with Janet and guests Dannah Feinglass Phirman (Word Girl) and Danielle Schneider (Players) in Episode 20 of the JV Club.

Janet's extreme addiction to the much-lauded Design*Sponge is evident in Episode 19 with DS founder Grace Bonney, who pontificates on her erstwhile love of Phish, the satisfaction of abandoning Laura Ashley, and the glory of My So Called Life.

Episode Eighteen of The JV Club defies you to find another podcast that covers ALL of these conversation essentials: stationary hewn from elephant poo; a fear of what we'll call "Plastic Man arms;" and using blood to secure a first class airplane ticket. These popular topics and much more -- with the wonderful Maria Bamford, no less!

If you have an irrational fear of abandoned construction equipment or an intense love of John Waters' original Hairspray, this is the discussion for you. It's also for you if you like fantastic people, because April Richardson (Chelsea Lately) couldn't be cooler. She and Janet discusses zines, gender-bending, and why getting grounded doesn't work when you have lots of pen pals-- in Episode 17 of The JV Club.

Melanie Lynskey gracefully navigates Janet's extreme doting, a dog bark or two, and way too many questions about the film Heavenly Creatures in Episode 16's foray into life in New Zealand, crushing on Beck, and whether freezing in place creates magical invisibility.

It's a two-fer-one this week with Burning Love's co-creator, Erica Oyama, and one of the series' stars, Beth Dover! If old gum commercials are right, that means double the fun-- with tidbits about working at the South Korean version of Disneyland, martial arts in Alabama, fictitious daring nursing home escapes, and a stirring rendition of "Angel of Montgomery."

Continuing the celebration of the release of the new webseries Burning Love, Janet and guest Deanna Russo verbally-cross-country-run themselves over a lot of ground, including the Lyme Disease bullseye, the pitfalls of posing for Playboy, and a complex coding system for words like "tampon." They even manage to squeeze in an old fashioned round of "M.A.S.H."

The radiant Malin Akerman (Rock of Ages, Watchmen) sits down with Janet to reflect on the familiar comfort of a Sears catalog, the perennial sexual appeal of a good drummer, bluffing your way into Catholic school, and proof that there's no poetry quite like angsty teenage poetry.

It's imaginary-mimed-pedicure time! Janet and guest Mary Lynn Rajskub pretend to get their feet pampered while they discuss the lone wolf aspect of swim team, vomiting in a tent, and guys who make pottery... with a pinch of accidentally stumbling into a new kind of love.

She tackled television journalism on all the major networks. But before that: She survived the hormones of four older sisters. She learned how to make beer work in her favor. She dated an Eagle. Join guest Connie Chung for a chat about family, friends, and career... and see what happens when Janet... um... puts the moves on her.

The podcast's first listener-generated interview! You asked (most) of the questions, and Jen Kirkman was up for the task. Find out what she and Janet have to say about Judy Blume, making out in basements, ironic greeting cards and more in Episode 10 of the JV Club.

Is it easy to go from the bustling streets of Jakarta to the country roads of Archer City with a little Dallas in between? Don't miss this rare opportunity to find out what "wall bangs" are, how to con your way into an internship on a popular talk show, and maybe even learn a little Indonesian... all courtesy of Angela Kinsey from NBC's The Office.

Celebrate living in the moment-- which in this case includes "moments" devoted to excessive cheek blush, dead teeth, and the raw sexual power of Night Court and Three's Company-- from one of the creators and stars of NBC's BFFs, Jessica St. Clair. This episode also requires audience participation, via several non-rhetorical questions for the listener!

Kerri Kenney-Silver (Wanderlust, The State) hunkers down on Janet's floor to charm and delight with the classics: poorly-received cheerleader tryouts, inevitable class clownism, and accidentally forming a band that ended up touring with Neil Young.

Capsizing school buses. Pen pal cruelty. Nude photography. In other words, just another high school memoir. Note: this episode also contains a high amount of violently loud outbursts of laughter in the form of A. Cackles* (*Natasha Leggero) and B. Guffaws* (*Janet Varney).

Possibly the only Saturday Night Live cast member who not only founded The Groundlings but who also sported a chic BACK BRACE in high school, Laraine Newman reminisces over rubber animal erasers, evil gym coaches, and the wonders and woes of having two teenage daughters of her own.

When should parents start letting their children pour their own cereal? Could an addiction to My Little Ponies be Kentucky Derby-related? Can anyone really BELONG to thunder? Another hard-hitting episode of The JV Club explores the the mind and memories of this week's guest, the marvelous Maggie Lawson (Psych).

Finally, a conversation that covers two of the most seminal influences on contemporary culture: playwright George Bernard Shaw and the oft-overlooked screen gem Mannequin Two: On the Move. All this and more with Gillian Jacobs, who turned heads as a child with an impressive array of homemade Halloween costumes long before she graced Community's collegiate hallways.

Episode 2 of the JV Club brings together Janet and guest June Raphael (NTSF:SD:SUV:, Bride Wars). And they don't waste any time getting into it about the perils of lip gloss, getting gooey over their favorite iconic redheads, and the fascinating topic of... well, mole people.

Throw on your tunic and Birkenstocks for a chat about small towns, the fierce passion of Celine Dion, and the importance of special effects in high school stage productions of Agnes of God.